I have been reading and thinking a lot lately about Surrender. My husband made the comment that I am like a totally different person and he wondered what happened. I thought about it for a long time and think that I have figured out what is different. You see I have mostly been a perfectionist; meaning that I expect things to be just so or maybe I was really just a control freak. Anyway, I learned some very important and fundamental lessons for surviving in peace and joy. The number one and most important one being Surrender.
Now I think "Surrender" has a bad reputation for most people. I believe a lot of people think that surrender is a weak. Let me ask you or anyone who has had to surrender, "Do you think it is easy to do?" I believe it is one of the hardest, most difficult and complicating things I have ever done, especially if you are a control freak. If you are a proud person it would be the same. You know the things that get in the way of surrender are pride, fear and trust.
I finally came to a point in my life when I realized that my own selfish pride, fear of failure or being hurt, and distrust of others to be able to handle the situations for the best got the better of me. When your own actions are about to cost you everything that you are fighting for don't you think it is time to surrender. My way isn't working, hasn't been working and is only making it worse. Now, what? I'll tell you what God, prayer and an open heart, mind and ears.
I went to God in prayer, laid everything, I do mean everything at the foot of the cross(his feet) and gave Him what He has asked and patiently waited for my entire life, Surrender and complete control of my life, every little detail. I must say although one of the hardest things I have ever done also one of the best. I have such a peace, knowing there is nothing I can do other than believe. I have no control over anything in my life and my constant desire to try was ruling my life and making me and all those around me miserable.
Now I just trust that God has my best interests at heart and though I may not understand what is going on or why at that exact moment I do know that I will become a better person if I just learn the lessons at hand and continue to trust God. He will supply everything I need, not necessarily everything I want though a good part of the time that too. So just in time for the season I have received a great deal of peace and joy!